they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
