Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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