its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
