Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
