No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize