i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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