If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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