I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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