he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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