NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize