I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
