hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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