Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
