at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
