did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
