For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
