I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
