I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
