I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
