And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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