For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
