I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
