Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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