you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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