Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
