One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My dick has a subreddit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize