No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
