so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
