he shaved USA in his pubs
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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