I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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