Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize