Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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