Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
