Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
