I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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