then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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