In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
