remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
