Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
