The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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