I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
