I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
