Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
