He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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