oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
