drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
