I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
