he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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