Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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