just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
