Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
