it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
