I could have mohawked her pubes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My vagina just recognized that song.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
