we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
