I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
