if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
