i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
