She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
someone owes me an orgasm
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
