dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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