New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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