Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
