Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
