I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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